Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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