I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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