when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
