girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize