the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
