i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize