Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
