pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize