Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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