Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
