the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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