Having a random hookup so left but love u
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
