Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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