some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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