I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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