Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
