I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
