the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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