The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
