The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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