hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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