Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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