Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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