I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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