Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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