And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
