why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How external is "for external use only"?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
