Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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