OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
