Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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