i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
