tell your sister to shave her snatch
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
