I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
