So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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