i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
