he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
