he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
