That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
