I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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