Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
