scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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