so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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