its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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