I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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