I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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