I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
