No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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