I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
