We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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