do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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