so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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