And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
