my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize