She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
