Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
