During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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