I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
