"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
