We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
