So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
