i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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