I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
