Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize