Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
