hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
