First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
