I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
