I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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