I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
