just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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