Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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