Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Be still, my beating vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
