Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
