It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
