I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
ttyl tear gas
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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