omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
