I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
